simply confess

confess

You asked me to kiss you, and I told you I can’t ruin your couple twice. You asked me again, almost begged and I said no and looked down. Thought I could do it, guess not. When you turned your back to leave, I held you and kissed you. I’m a failure. A weak, worthless failure.

Day 3: You just left from my birthday party, you were with him.. I saw you both go to the back seat of his car, I saw it from the balcony. I saw he looked up and saw me looking. Wow.

Je l’aime

“Did you fuck all night before you told him that I was the love of your life this morning?”

- TTSP

Back when I was…hmm, seventeen? I had a girlfriend and we fooled around in public a few times. Once was right up the back of a church yard when (we thought) no one was around. Basically, she gave me a handy. Just after we had finished, I saw a bloke wandering around – pretty sure he didn’t see us.

But now? My mind keeps buzzing, wondering if someone did. I think we were pretty discreet about the whole thing, and I seem to remember walking through the place just a bit earlier and there being literally no one in sight. I can’t help but feel though that I’m some sort of sicko.

I’d never do it in public again, FYI. I’m 21 now, and I like to think a bit more sensible.

Day 2: Saw you at a a clothing shop today. Just said hi. I miss you. A lot. You looked weird, what was that you’re wearing? You didn’t wear that with me.. Can’t stop thinking about you.

I act like i’m straight.. And i am…
But sometimes i feel that I am not….

I love her so much i cant describe it…she likes me so much i cant imagine it….but she doesn’t love me like i do love her, she ‘likes’ me cuz im a nice guy…people get soo addicted to drugs, alcohol and other stuff but i got addicted to her!!…i can’t stop thinking of her…how do i make her love me? i think if i ignore her for a while she will feel my absence, thats an advice from her best friend and her ex…im verry sure it would work if i pretend to be quite busy rather than calling every day but its kinda difficult for me to just ignore her!! i just CANT!!!! i know i have to but its difficult!!!! HELP ME OUT PLEASEE I NEED GOOD ADVICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

N.M :’(

Day 1: I can’t stop thinking about you. The idea of you with him is killing me. You said you made a mistake by choosing him and I was way better for you. I miss you.

So you love me, but you miss him. And you love him, but you miss me. I’m just quoting you right now. You still want me as your girlfriend but you want him to fuck you once a week. You get jealous of the girls he sees but you don’t want me to be jealous of him. Wow, this is getting confusing and fucked up.

Comment je me permet de penser a toi encore, apres tout ce passe assez douleureux apre les moments sous une douches froide pour oublier le mal de linterieur, apres une journee de choc total, je suis avec lui mnt, je suis contente ossi je laime je ladore oc mais le passe ne pe jamais etr efface jai envie detre dans tes bras de refaire une faute, tu dis ke tu le ve oc, ta facon est pluto sexuel ce ki prouve ke tout n pa vrt vrai mais laisse moi rever, laisse moi rever kun jour tu etai a moi completement un moi, kun jour jai pu te faire sourir, ou rire ke ces jours remplace tout les mauvais jours de ta vie.. Laisse moi rever..

Life (at least that’s what they call it) is one big pile of shit. Daily I am weighed down with feelings of doubt, hatred of others, self hatred, anger, guilt, depression debilitating fear of people, et cetera. I feel like something is tormenting me, like a demon or a spirit or something, I don’t know. Because I am constantly being bombarded by feelings of hatred for god and hatred for religion. Lately I have been desiring to destroy any and all things religious. I wish I could burn a mountain of bibles. I would even like to destroy god. Completely wipe him away from human memory, but I know that is an impossibility. How could anyone love a god who allows evil people to prosper and live abundant lives while little babies are raped, tortured, murdered and starved to death right in front of his very eyes? I could never love a god who does that.

I just want someone to feel pain like I feel it. With each passing day, the need to hurt others grows and grows. The desire to end my own life is just as strong. I am just so sick to fucking death of feeling trapped by “LIFE”. What is the point of life anyway? We eat, sleep, shit and scramble around struggling to make ends meet. We’re all going to die anyway, so what is the point of prolonging things? If you really think about it, we are all better off dead. One bullet to the head and we could be free from all of the bullshit that life throws at us. I know I am just rambling but I just needed to get this off of my chest. I don’t give a fuck if anyone reads it. I just needed to say it.

Hate and anger are the only real things in my life.

je sais que tu veux qu’elle soit la marraine de tes gosses quand meme, je sais que tu ve sentir que tu es fière encore…je sais ke sa menerve kan tu parle de vs 2! tu la aimer comme pa normal! tu ma tout raconter et c ski a fait ke jas tomber folle amoureuse de toi! g vu tout l’amour ktu peu dégager,,,que tu peux donner et je voulais sa! g eu sa…
et jsui la personne la plus heureuse sur terre avec toi…je narrive pa a kitter quand on est en voiture..on arrive pas a arrêter de s’embrasser!t soudainement devenu le centre de ma vie! comme si tout tourner autour de toi! et sa tourne!
plus rien ne m;importe…rien apart toi! je n’ai jamais quelqu’un autan que je t’aime!
et je sais ke tu maime aussi! et bcp! je le sens!
jvlais te dire que je suis desoler detre jalouse kan tu parle delle! meme si ce n;est rien! sa menerve de menerver! et c cme sa. je fais des efforts je te promets! mais elle ta blesser et sa me fait mal de voir ktu tien aussi fort encore…tu la blesser aussi je sais…mai la c toi ke jaime pas elle! donc c’est toi ki importe pour moi!
pleins de chose on changer je sais! et on est très bien! très!
mais n’empêche que kan je pense a vs 2…a toi ki tient encore..qui pense a elle des fois meme si en temps que ton amie…n’empeche que maigres le fait que je c ke skon a est enkor plus fort…en plein soleil, j’ai froid!

Derek Boykins Jr of TCU is a fucking nigger.

I always wanted to fuck Megan Scott. She’s this hot white girl at TCU. She’s white, blonde, and looks pretty good. I always to stick my dick in her white cunt.