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I have been separated for 3yrs and divorced for 2yrs. Im on my own but its still difficult, emotionally. I feel guilt, sorrow, sadness, loneliness and yes anger. Im hoping that this website will help me with these issues as I have been unable to trust anyone. Thank you for listening.



1 Comment

  1. 1.

    Been there and done that and now out of there :D
    and hope your turn comes soon to write this statement :)

    Before i start i would just like to mention that it makes a big difference when you are a male or a female for each have a different way to deal with this situation but consider my below comments and solutions open to both genders (for it is not clear which one you are from your message).

    1) writing this message on this board is your first signal to moving forward and crying out loud for help and attention, which shows that you are not finding comfort with your surroundings, family, friends, or work. I cannot tell you to change your family and friends but i can definitely ask you to rethink changing your surroundings, lifestyle, work etc. I know it is not easy but what is :)

    2) look for things that make you happy and try to do them more or indulge in them more :) try to insert smiling and laughter to your daily work requirements for it does make a huge difference – TRUST ME – even if it is by reading silly jokes or watching sitcoms for half an hour.

    3) STAY AWAY from negative people who keep on reminding you of your sorrow even if you have to tell them you are out of town for whatsoever reason or ignore their calls or block them out of your social life for a while!

    4) START thinking POSITIVE of things around you. No matter how bad things are there is always a sparkle of positive energy, or thoughts, or will somewhere.

    5) MAKE a list of things that causes these guilt sadness and ANGER and take a decision that you are taking a longgggggggg vacation from these things or people and get back to them if you have to deal with each WHEN YOU ARE READY.

    6) REMEMBER that no matter how down you are or depressed you are always so important or someone that makes a difference for someone else in life and that alone is a bless.

    7) I won’t go to the religious therapy part for i don’t know what background you come from but it had previously made a HUGE difference in the life of people who belief.

    8) I would HIGHLY recommend that you engage in social classes like YOGA, SALSA Dancing, PAINTING CLASSES, or anything of your interest and even better anything that you never imagined yourself doing like SKY DIVING etc. These classes or courses tend to get your head out of your daily sorrows, will let you meet new people, will show you things about you that you didn’t know existed and most of all it will add the positive thinking and happiness around you.

    9) To resolve your emotional status, if you think you are not ready yet to go into relations with people you know for what so ever reasons try to go out with people in groups of unmarried people so you won’t feel the difference. But if you think you are not ready to go out with people yet and share your emotions with someone then i would highly suggest that you get a pet. Seriously a pet would change your life. It will make you feel as if you are responsible for someone’s life and a dog for example could fill up your time and will occupy loads of your emotions.

    10) I know that this solution or suggestion would sound weird to you but it helped me BIG time. Try to volunteer for charity work or to help in surrounding activities for the needy people etc. it does really make a difference when you see what kind of joy and happiness YOU can bring and do to others in need. And i know it might sound selfish to other people but you will also notice that You have been blessed with what you have even if it was only your shared emotions with them and your supporting words.

    In summary, try to change things around you that causes your current feelings even if it is by changing your furniture or tiny things but it is always a start. Don’t sit there waiting for someone to grab your hand and lead you … you should lead yourself and before anything you should believe in yourself as i believe in your will to change now :)

    Think positive and think that you are important and always try to keep a smile it does make a difference.

    Sorry if i haven’t been more specific about your separation or divorce issues but there isn’t enough details in your message to guide you through it but anyway the above is a start so let’s think of it as Phase 1 :D

    Looking forward for your comment and always remember we are here for you :) So that should be your first smile of the day :D

    Best,
    Your #1 Listener

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