simply confess

Although it’s not the most unique problem in the world, I’m in love with my best friend, and she lives halfway across the world. I’m doing everything I can to make my way back to her, but with the sinking despair that it can’t be for the rest of our lives unless something truly amazing happens in terms of my career.

A couple of years ago we had big plans. I traveled halfway across the world to help her. But those plans – all the hopes and dreams we both had – were left in ruins. She was broken, abandoned and alone again, as I fled back home. I had valid reasons for why I left, but the pain and guilt from leaving her still kills me to this very day. She doesn’t trust me like she used to. She’s a close friend, but much more distant now. So much has changed.

What’s more is that after a lifetime of ****, she’s emotionally barren and I doubt she’ll ever feel the same way about me as I do about her. I went through a particularly bad patch a year ago and ended up spilling all these emotions out to her in an email, so she knows about it. Sometimes I think she has flickers of something deep and loving towards me. But I know that it’s just my mind wanting to believe it. I know I’m wishing to see things that aren’t there.

For so long I’ve dreamed about the moment we meet again and hopefully it will happen in 2013. Maybe, over time, I can show her that things can be good in life. I miss her so much.

I love you, and I want to stay with you, but at the same time I don’t. I thought I had forgiven you and moved on from what happened but now I’m not so sure. I think deep down I want you to fuck up so I have an excuse to leave. So the decision can be made for me. It’s not that I don’t love you. You’ve damaged our marriage to the point of breaking, and I just don’t know anymore. I keep hoping if I stay that it’ll get better, that I’ll get better. I don’t know what to do. I feel stuck in a catch 22. Like if I stay or go I’ll regret it either way. And I can’t say any of this to your face because I told you I was here to stay and that I’d let go of my anger and forgave you, and I told others that too; I believed it at the time. So now I don’t have anyone to talk to. I hate my life. I wish I could do it all over again.

Pour rien au monde, je te laisserais filer d’entres mes doigts.
Si seulement quelque chose pouvait me promettre que tu resteras la, a mes cotes,…

Sometimes I’m so glad my abusive step-grandfather is dead.

My husband cheated, I forgave, and he cheated again. Now, six months later I managed to find forgiveness again, but I’m scared. I’m so afraid he’s going to have a relapse and cheat again. It would crush me and make me feel like a total dipshit if he ever did it again. Why do women have to be such whores and why do men have to fall for it? I’m so afraid to believe in the happy ending. I’m still lost.

I love Sabeel… whether that be right or wrong, hes there right there, lodged in my brain and stuck in my heart. Oh how I wish for him to vanish and leave me be for my sanity. God knows I’ve prayed. But if hes not here today, not beside me now, how will he ever be? I need him now more than I have ever needed anyone. No, it doesn’t make sense. No, he didn’t care to be so much as a friend. And yes, he will find someone that he’ll come to care for more, someone he’ll come to love. But right there, right then and back then 10.03.2011.. He’d have not found anyone that cared as much as I did. He can look for all he wants, he’ll not find another me that will care so much! We make mistakes, we all make the dam things called mistakes!! But thats what we do in life, we live and we learn. I just want you here right now, just to get my closer. I just want to be able to live without out you, I want to be able to move forward withouth you tugging at the strings of my heart. Please allow me that, allow me the gift of moving on from you! Let go! Let go, I need to move on Sabeel. I have to let you go. You know the world has a way of things comming out, the cards always play out and one day you’ll know what I felt and how pure it was. It was not tainined it was not unclean, for what I felt for you was just a beautiful dream. Where are you? When are you going to return that small piece of my heart that you hold! When? I need it back to go on. I wish you all the best in what ever you do. It is my hearts prayer that all you touch turns to gold and that maybe just maybe our paths should cross again. But for now, right here, it hurts to care, it hurts to wait for you it hurts to just sit there day after day and hope. Don’t take away my hope. I need it. Don’t take it from me. For me, do this for me, let me go… Sabeel let me go.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Love, and you shall be loved.
Listen, and you shall be heard.
Travel, and you shall be sought.
Fall, and you shall be caught.
Think, and you shall be taught.

Better yourself.
Do not take the path less traveled. Make your own.
Think for yourself.
Master yourself.

And then move on…

I am bi-curious. I am an 18-year-old girl and I really would like to kiss another girl. Maybe even go all the way. Maybe. I’ve never told anyone about this.

I think I’m falling for him.

Though I know it’s not a good thing cause he still has a thing with his ex. They broke up with a mutual understanding. And their in good terms right now. Plus we’re really not close. We don’t even talk in school. We have a “I-will-only-talk-to-you-if-I-need-something-from-you” relationship. Which doesn’t really happen. =( I’ve liked him since last year and now I think I’m falling for him. Well, if falling for someone is when he’s the last thing you think about before you sleep, the one that pops in your mind when you hear a certain song and other stuff like that. Then I think I really am falling for him.

I think I’m falling for him.

Though I know it’s not a good thing cause he still has a thing with his ex. They broke up with a mutual understanding. And their in good terms right now. Plus we’re really not close. We don’t even talk in school. We have a “I-will-only-talk-to-you-if-I-need-something-from-you” relationship. Which doesn’t really happen. =( I’ve liked him since last year and now I think I’m falling for him. Well, if falling for someone is when he’s the last thing you think about before you sleep, the one that pops in your mind when you hear a certain song and other stuff like that. Then I think I really am falling for him.

J’aurais jamais cru qu’un jour j’allais t’apprécier… et que j’allais meme envie d’etre avec toi pour passer du bon temps
O.

I need advice, I am in love with a girl and I want to know how to kill this feeling, I don’t want to be in love, its just I care about her and I’ve known her for only a month and a half but she is sooo great, but she has a boyfriend and we are “friends”, so I want some advice on how to kill love?

I really really wish i can talk to u and sort things out, i promise u i am unable to reach u in any way possible, i dont know wats on ur fb and i dont know wats ur bb pin , i tried addingu on msn and obviously it didnt work and i cant call u and talk to u its been soo long and im really scared to do that, i cant talk to u face to face considering the circumstances ,

and im not gonna say i cant forget u , i can akid but i dont want to, u cant force a person to do something he doesnt wanna do, its just not wat i feel like doing!

the worst scenario that could happen in this situation is realizing that u just dont wanna talk to me anymore and that my feeling bi2innik u still care to sort things out is just an illusion

if thats the truth then akid i have to accept it but i hope its not and if its not well? ur taking a lot of effort in showing me that u just dont care anymore

i understand i messed things up real bad in the past bas inno khalas ya3neh bikaffeh hal2ad , people change farah people change!

I’m leaving my husband and he doesn’t know it yet.

I fucking hate my life. If it wasn’t for my daughter I’d put myself out of my goddamn misery and kill myself just to end the fucking bullshit.